Columnist, Simon Lovell
NED 1996! Ah well, it
had to happen I guess! There I was on
New Year's Eve enjoying a large glass
of Moet to wash down a fine sushi dinner
when the spirit (both alcoholic and
spiritual) took over. Before an astonished
group of non-magical friends Ned auto-channeled
his way through the misty swamps of
the astral planes to appear before them.
As my best pal John 'the dartmeister'
Jenkins said, 'At least it's better
than the pink elephants I was seeing
20 minutes ago!'.
Still groggy from his
journey Ned didn't realise that he was
talking to non-magicians. Still groggy
from the booze I had no idea what the
hell was going on but thankfully Harry
(my pet cat) made notes on his lap top
computer for the next morning and so
here are more of Ned's thoughts on the
perception of magic. What a furry little
pal he is!
Ned certainly had some
more ideas on how to get the larger
fees. One point he made is the inherent
snob value that being expensive gives.
Why do people drive a Rolls Royce? Because
it shows that they can afford one! Why
do people buy a huge mansion? Because
they'll be perceived as having been
more successful than someone in a smaller
house. These are not, I'm sure, the
only considerations but it sure as hell
is a powerful one. So how does this
apply to your fee? Ned explained further
...
You are working at a
swanky party and the hostess, off to
one side, is chatting to a friend. The
friend says, 'We had Ploppy The Hamster
Juggler And Balloon Modeller at our
party ... He cost me over $200.00!'.
The hostess proudly lords over her pal
with the news, 'Yeah, Simon is costing
me $750.00!'. The friend crumbles into
a depressive heap while our talented
hostess smooches the rest of the party
with her head held high. A little extreme?
No! These conversations do happen -
I've overheard them several times! Hey,
and who do you think the depressive
friend is going to want to book next
time? Sure as you can say, 'Lemming',
it won't be Ploppy. It'll be the high
priced guy. She certainly wouldn't want
the comment, 'Oh, I see you booked HIM
again', from the hostess. That would
be game, set and match in tennis court
of social climbing! Ned, of course,
added the all important caveat of following
his rules and ideas from the last column
as well! Snob value is a very important
point. Here's an example ...
A few weeks ago I worked
a big gig where, by chance, the governor
of CT turned up. I leapt in and they
liked it very much (thank you Ned).
A couple of weeks later, much to a present
journalists' delight, the governor turned
up to a sleazy comedy club to watch,
and I quote, 'His favorite magician'.
Made a nice mention in the paper! The
point? A lady called me and asked for
a quote for an hour-long close-up at
her husband's house party. Thankfully
she was sitting comfortably when I quoted
so all I heard was a sharp exhalation
of wounded breath. 'But', she quoth,
'That's so much more than everybody
else!'. I told her the governor tale,
she checked the paper, and called back.
'Well, If John thinks you're that good
we simply must book you!'. She then
added, much to my satisfaction I may
add, 'And I do apologize for questioning
your fee, it really is very reasonable'.
Not only did she get the snob value
for her party (he is the gov's favorite
you know - how could you possibly consider
booking someone else?) but quite brilliantly
used it on me (of course we can afford
you, now I know who you are the fee
is fine!). She'll be a big wheel in
the social scene any time now! Use snob
value, it's a killer ploy! Next time
we'll (You, Ned and I) talk about how
high fees will also change their perception
of you and how your treatment to them
will change. Ned will also tip a murderously
strong ploy that, however high your
fee is, will technically make you a
better financial value than Ploppy,
Zippy, Fondles or any of the others.
Till then Ned and I wish
you all the brightest of New Years with
everything you want and possibly a little
more coming your way.
Bye for now, Simon and Ned
