Editor's
Note:
This week Mike provides good natured fun at
the expense of himself and the infamous "magic
conventioneer." We hope you'll enjoy this
lighthearted article.
THE INSIDER
By Mike Rogers
In
my opinion one of the most evil gadgets to ever
invade and interfere with the art of conjuring
is the computer. Almost overnight people totally
lacking magicianís skills become self-proclaimed
experts. These experts, mainly magicians whoís
names we have never heard, become all knowing,
all caring, and self appointed advisors. Proudly,
I think I have fallen into this lair.You find
us in chat rooms, news groups and bulletin boards.
The problem is we self appointed gurus are relegated
to the rank and file when disarmed of the mighty
computer. We vanish back to where we belong.
My
purpose today is to help the on line czars appear
to be true magical insiders in the hope that
we can surface in person as well as we do in
cyber space. Here are a few tips to help convince
others that we are true insiders in the world
of magic. I use these tactics when attending
magic conventions. They seem to work for me.
Feel free to use them.
When
speaking of famous magicians I always do so
in a manner that suggests personal friendship.
For instance, I never say, ìDoug Henning
would do thisÖ.î Instead I say, ìDouggy
would do thisÖî Using a personal nickname
has great effect. When speaking of Vernon I
make it sound as if my conversations with him
were always of a non-magic personal nature.
For instance I might say, ìThe Professor
always asked me why I like catsup on my eggs.î
You get the idea. It comes easy with a practice.
I
never carry a deck of cards. I always laugh
at myself about this as if it is utterly foolish
that I would be caught not having a deck of
cards. This makes it seem as if Iím really a
card expert, but was careless and forgot to
bring a deck. It also means I donít have to
prove I really canít do a decent card trick.
I
act as if Iíve never heard of someone even though
they are well known. Iím never eager to meet
anyone; instead I linger in the area until I
ìautomaticallyî bump into them. Of course I
contrive to make it look as if they bumped into
me. It looks as if they are going out of their
way to personally meet me. The effect is enhanced
when I wear sunglasses, even when in the dimly
lighted bar.
I
never attend the shows; however, when I do attend
any shows I never take my assigned seat. Instead
I stand in the back and talk to others who refuse
to take their seat. This suggests that Iíve
seen it all before. Conversely, I attend one
of the lesser shows held during the day. I sit
right up front where everyone can see me. I
laugh loudly at all the corny jokes, and act
as if the simplest of magic fools me to no end.
This makes me look humble, and it impresses
the beginners in magic.
Iím
never in a hurry to attend a function as I always
contrive to arrive a bit late. The beginners
who scrambled for front row seats envy me for
my self-confidence.
I
always refer to the last place I worked as ìThe
roomîÖ.I weave it into my conversation by
saying such things as, ìCan you handle that
room, are you too hep for the room, magic
seldom plays in that roomÖ..î and so on.
Calling a venue ìThe Roomî certainly
implies extensive experience and inside knowledge.
When
I see something really good I never admit to
being fooled; conversely, I act as if the latest
magic set item fools hell out of me. I claim
to have no idea how a popular trick works, and
act as if I donít care. Itís important to reflect
an attitude of indifference.
When
in the bar if there is a live band in the bar
I walk up to them and introduce myself as a
fellow entertainer. I do this so all the other
magicians can see it happen. I never have the
foggiest idea who the band is, nor do they care
who I am, but I need to subtly imply that I
am well known in the entertainment industry.
I
claim to have no knowledge of show business
jargon and laugh about this lack of knowledge.
Yet I follow this up with a few catch phrases
that will be almost unknown to others. I use
words and phrases such as, ìBally,î ìBreak
your jump,î ìRide the boards,î ìFirst of
May,î and ìGreenroom.î Moreover, I
always refer to a musical score as ìcharts.î
That really impresses others.
I
try and never call a sleight by its popular
name. In other words, a Pass is a Shift,
to palm a card is to glom a card, adding
a palmed card to the deck is capping the
deck, and holding a break in the deck
is cracking the deck. Also, I never say
the ìSeven of Clubs.î Instead itís ìThe Club
Seven.î I speak of all the cards in this
manner. What a hoot!
I
would never say, ìLast time I was in Hong
KongÖ..î Instead I make it sound as if a
gig in Hong Kong is the weekly norm by saying,
ì When your rising card deck fails in
Hong Kong there are vendors selling batteries
on every cornerÖ..î I always flash my passport
every time I remove my wallet to pay a bar tab.
Along the same line I always carry some money
from different countries in my wallet, and flash
this money at every opportunity as if itís the
spending money I use daily. This makes it look
as if I am world traveled.
I
never admit that any thing is new in magic,
and always allude to the best stuff coming from
Boyís Life Magazine back in the 40s.
Everyone has to take my word for it as who can
check?
When
killing time at a convention I contrive to stand
near the elevators or near the front desk where
everyone will see me. I act as if Iím lost.
At the same time when moving about the hotel
I act as if I have no idea where anything is.
I openly ask where to find the bar, the gift
shop, and the coffee shop. In other words, I
convey the notion that I am just a regular guy
having never done any of this before. This helps
me appear humble. Additionally it suggests that
I am in so many hotels that it becomes confusing
trying to remember where everything is.
If
one of the real stars of magic happens to be
standing around doing nothing I engage him in
casual conversation. I talk about the weather,
football, or baseball, anything but magic. He
probably doesnít have much interest in baseball,
which will allow me to lead the conversation.
Others watching, but out of hearing range, will
think he is confiding in me seeking my magical
knowledge. They are really dazzled.
I
never admit to being in town for the convention.
Instead I tell everyone Iím in town for other
magic business and just got lucky that the convention
happened to be going on at the same time. Also,
in conversation I allude to the fact that I
will miss several events because of previous
important commitments. This implies that I am
giving of myself to spend what little free time
I have to be among the magicians. If I can get
away with it I donít wear my nametag. I assume
everyone already knows me.
There
are many more methods of course, but this gets
me going. The list will help other cyber experts
on magic join the real world where our expertise
can be enjoyed in the flesh. As with being an
expert in cyberspace the methods Iíve listed
here require little talent, skill, or knowledge,
of which I possess none.
I
seldom attend magic conventions these days so
you may not see me in action. However, just
look around. There are others like me.
