P. "Nutty" Sandwich
This could also be called "Time
Out For Lunch", because that's what I used the
prop for, originally. In the middle of my kid
show, I would casually glance at my watch and
say, "Good Gosh! It's time for me to have my
lunch. Pardon me."
I would then remove a child's
metal lunch box from my table and open it up.
I removed a napkin, which I tucked under my
chin, and then I removed three bananas, six
oranges, a loaf of bread, a long string of hot-dogs,
a giant red lobster, several large carrots,
two plucked chickens, two glasses of milk, a
glass of tomato juice, a water-melon and finally,
a PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH!
As I removed each article,
I would say, "No, that's not what I want to
eat", until I got to the last item and said,
"Ah, here's what I wanted, a PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH!"
Before I explain the sandwich
gag, let me tell you about the rest. I collected
all of the collapsible rubber items that I had,
(you've already read the list), I then took
three bottomless glasses that nested and painted
them to look like two of them were full of milk,
and one was full of tomato juice. I bought the
smallest kid's lunch box I could find, that
would still be big enough to hold all of the
rubber production items when they were collapsed.
Incidentally, I took all of
the items with me to the store and tried to
fit them into several different lunch boxes,
until I found the one that was just right. The
reaction of the store's customers and salespeople
to my experiments would take another book to
describe. Let's just say they were BEWILDERED!
Now that we've gotten the "time
for lunch" premise out of the way, let's discuss
the PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH, which is what I
started to write about when I got side-tracked.
I took two slabs of white foam
rubber, five inches square and rounded the corners
on one end. I then hollowed them out (using
scissors). I took brown shoe dye, and painted
the edges so that the finished prop looked just
like two slices of bread.
I found some brown (or tan)
cloth that was the perfect "Peanut butter" color,
and made a cylinder, four inches in diameter
and six inches tall.
I cut two circles of cardboard,
one for the top of the cylinder and one for
the bottom, and glued the open cylinder to them.
I used a piece of white cotton tape about one-half
of an inch wide, which I glued to the top of
the cloth cylinder and I then took some "prang"
textile colors (available at art stores) and
painted a "label" on the cylinder.
Using rubber cement, I fastened
the cardboard discs to the slices of sponge
bread, one disc in each slice. When the two
slices of bread are together the cloth peanut
butter jar, is hidden between them. I would
hold the bottom slice in my left hand and raise
the top slice upwards with my right hand.. This
would make it look like a full-sized jar of
peanut butter, that was between the slices of
bread.
When I brought out the sandwich,
I would say, "I just love peanut butter sandwiches,
don't you? I only like them when you use a lot
of peanut butter to make them. Look, I USE A
WHOLE JAR!" The bread slides are separated at
this point, so that the jar may be seen. I then
close it (the jar) and apparently take a big
bite out of it. I lay the sandwich aside and
as I start to talk, I discover that my TEETH
AND JAWS ARE STUCK TOGETHER. 1 use both hands
to pull them apart and that ends the bit with
another good laugh.
